Shamans On Holiday
by Sadame XX
Summary: The shamans go on a vacation. Warning: Contains insanity, OCC-ness & mild language.
1. Scene 1: At the airport

Title: Shamans On Holiday  
  
Author: Miuzy  
  
Category: Humor  
  
Rated: PG  
  
Warnings: Insanity, OOCness, mild language - in short, it's a stupid fic.  
  
Disclaimer: All rights reserved. Thank you.  
  
Author's Note: This is an AU fic. How'd I write this stuff?!?! +_+;  
  
  
  
/.../ represents emphasis  
  
  
  
  
  
Shamans On Holiday.  
  
  
  
Scene One:  
  
  
  
[Yoh, Manta, Hao, Ren, Horohoro, Bokutou No Ryu, Chocolove, Lyserg, Anna and Tamao were at the airport. They had planned to go to Hawaii for a holiday (of all places *_*;;)]  
  
Yoh: This is gonna be one of our best trips ever! ^__^ *smile*  
  
Ren: T_T We've /just/ got here. We don't even know how the food on the plane tastes like yet.  
  
Horohoro: *goes sparkly-eyed* Speaking of food, I wonder what they have kept away for me.  
  
Bokutou No Ryu: *stops walking suddenly* AWW! SHITTT!!  
  
Everyone else: *jumps in suprise*  
  
Bokuto No Ryu: *goes red* I-I-I forgot to bring my walkman...  
  
Everyone excluding Bokutou No Ryu: *falls down anime-style*  
  
Horohoro: *gets up* Baka...  
  
Bokutou No Ryu: It's not my fault~! *whines and turns teary-eyed* Blame Video-chan!  
  
Ren: Yes, it is. If you hadn't played video games and concentrated more on packing instead, you would have least /brought/ something. *sighs in irritation* Now, all of us, including /me/ have to lend you a pair of underwear and some clothes. You know how degrading is that?!  
  
Horohoro: Aww...Ren-chan's sooooo cuuuutttteeee~ *snogs him*  
  
Ren: !!  
  
[For some reason, despite his shocked expression, Ren did not struggle]  
  
Bokutou No Ryu: O.o;;  
  
Passerbys: O.o;;  
  
Hao: Eugh! *screws up face in disgust*  
  
Yoh: ^v^;; Well...they're like that.  
  
Tamao: *looks at Horohoro and Ren, sighing dreamily* They're such a cute couple~  
  
Anna: ......  
  
Lyserg: ......*turns away* You two are raising my hormones. Stop it.  
  
Manta: *wishes he could do that to a particular person*  
  
Chocolove: Wow! This is SOMEthing! *takes out video camera*  
  
Bokutou No Ryu: *holds up a sign with the words 'CENSORED!!!' written on it in front of them* T.T  
  
Lyserg: *coughs* So THAT's what they've been doing in Horohoro's room. I've always wondered why it was often locked whenever Tao Ren's not around.  
  
Ren: *splutters* I-I...no...th-that's...  
  
Hao: *mutters* Gay freaks...  
  
Ren: *eyes him dangerously* What was that?  
  
Hao: I mean, Jay creaks. *laughs humorlessly*  
  
Yoh: *looks puzzled* Who's Jay?  
  
Hao: Err...a friend. He...practises...judo. Yeah. You know, when you stretch your muscles too much during fighting practise, they give off creaking sounds. Um.  
  
Everyone else: ???  
  
Hao: Ohh! *points at a music box as they pass a souvenir shop* Look! Isn't that cute!  
  
Yoh: ... I thought you said music boxes were childish and simply detest them.  
  
Hao: Ah...I did? *blinks with mock innocence* Maybe they aren't so bad after all. In fact, those annoyingly irritating sounds they make... *stops abruptly when the others eye him suspiciously* What I meant was, in a cute I'm-flyin'-in-the-air sort of way could be interesting.  
  
Yoh: *looks worried* All that coffee you drank earlier at home must have left an effect in your brain, Brother.  
  
Hao: Haha...I suppose it did.  
  
Anna: Hey, you guys want to have a drink before boarding the plane? I'm kinda thirsty.  
  
Bokutou No Ryu: *heart heart* Anything for you, my lady.  
  
Anna: ...Get a life for once, punk. *steps on him*  
  
Everyone else: *sweatdrops*  
  
Bokutou No Ryu: Aaaahhhh~!! My hair~! *pats his hair lovingly* It took me four whole years to grow my 'baby'.  
  
Everyone else: *sweatdrops some more*  
  
Chocolove: Uh...let's go have a drink, everyone. My treat. ^__^  
  
Everyone else: Yay!!!  
  
[Off they went to the nearest cafe]  
  
Waitress: Welcome, what would you like to have?  
  
Yoh: What do you guys want? *tries to ignore Bokutou No Ryu, who was making goo-goo eyes at the waitress*  
  
Manta: Apple juice, please.  
  
Chocolove: I'll have a chocolate shake.  
  
Horohoro: Vanilla shake for Ren and me! ^___^  
  
Ren: +_+;;  
  
Lyserg: I'll have a coke, please.  
  
Tamao: I'd like orange juice.  
  
Anna: Water. Plain water.  
  
Hao: *looks in menu* Hmm...I think I'll have grapefruit juice.  
  
Waitress: *takes down their orders*  
  
Yoh: ...Um...Ryu? *sweatdrops*  
  
[Bokutou No Ryu was still ogling at the waitress]  
  
Horohoro: *whacks Ryu on the head with the snowboard* HEL-LO! Someone's /calling/ you here!  
  
Bokutou No Ryu: Oww! What?! *turns to his friends who were all glaring at him* A..ha...yes?  
  
Yoh: What would you like to drink?  
  
Bokutou No Ryu: The waitr- *receives another whack from Horohoro* I mean, cappucino, please.  
  
Yoh: And I'll have Ice-Lemon Tea.  
  
Waitress: Okay, your drinks will come in a few minutes. Meanwhile, have a nice day.  
  
[The waitress goes off]  
  
Bokutou No Ryu: Wait! Don't leave me!  
  
Horohoro: *kicks Ryu* Get a grip on yourself, baka. This isn't the 'Flirting Room' for your information.  
  
Bokutou No Ryu: OW! That hurt! *rubs another swollen bump* What's it to you?! You can get your own girl to go after.  
  
Horohoro: That isn't necessary. I already have Ren. ^__^ *snuggles closer to the Chinese shaman*  
  
Ren: +_+;;  
  
Bokutou No Ryu: O.o;; R-ight...I forgot. *laughs humorlessly*  
  
Hao: *eyes Horohoro and Ren oddly* What's with you two? I don't recall Yoh telling me he has 'bent' friends.  
  
Yoh: Let's just say...they spent too much time together. ^_^  
  
Horohoro: Ren's my sweetheart and I love him!  
  
Ren: *laughs nervously* Yea... +_+;;  
  
Bokutou No Ryu: ...AWWW SHIIIITTTT!!!  
  
Everyone else including people from other tables: *jumps in suprise* O.o;;;  
  
Yoh: What's wrong Ryu?  
  
Bokutou No Ryu: *goes pale* I forgot to set my alarm clock off!  
  
Everyone else: ..... T.T  
  
[At Ryu's house]  
  
Alarm clock: Cock-a-doodle doooooooooooo!!!  
  
Neighbour: *bangs the wall* ARE YOU TRYIN' TO BE A CHICKEN TODAY??! SHUT UP WILL YA??!!! PEOPLE'S TRYIN' TO /SLEEP/ HERE!!  
  
[Back at the cafe in the airport]  
  
Bokutou No Ryu: SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT!!!  
  
Yoh: Never mind, Ryu. You could always install more batteries, right?  
  
Bokutou No Ryu: But my neighbour's gonna /kill/ me when he sees me next time! And like being chased around the neighbourhood with a broom every morning isn't enough-!!  
  
Yoh: Everything's gonna be alright, I'm sure.  
  
Bokutou No Ryu: You wouldn't be saying that if /you're/ the one being chased around the neighbourhood by a man who has a broom for a weapon.  
  
[ A large oversized waitress comes to their table with the drinks]  
  
Waitress: Ah...drinks. *dumps their drinks on the table*  
  
Everyone: ..... @_@;;  
  
Chocolove: Er..thanks. *hands the waitress some money*  
  
[The waitress takes the money and walks off without another word]  
  
Horohoro: *turns to Bokutou No Ryu* Why didn't ya flirt with her? She looks very likeable.  
  
Bokutou No Ryu: Uh...too heavy for my taste.  
  
Horohoro: She could help spare some meat for a skinny scrawny guy like you, you know. ^__^  
  
Bokutou No Ryu: WHAT DID YOU SAY???!!  
  
Hao: +_+ What did I do to deserve going to a vacation with idiots?  
  
  
  
*********************************************************************  
  
~End of Scene One~ 


	2. Scene 2: Boarding the plane

Shamans On Holiday  
  
  
  
/.../ represents emphasis  
  
  
  
  
  
Scene Two:  
  
  
  
[They walk out of the cafe]  
  
Horohoro: *stretches* Ahh~ That was good. *turns to Ren* Right, sweetheart?  
  
[There were colourful tiny paper umbrellas all around Ren's face; a blue and an orange one behind his ears, one pink one on his head and a yellow one stuck out from within his mouth]  
  
Ren: Hmph. *crosses arms over his chest* I still don't see why'd /I/ have to be the one coming out of the cafe looking like some sort of an umbrella weirdo when the others could come out just normal. *eyes his other friends who hadn't a single annoying mini umbrella on /their/ faces*  
  
Horohoro: Why? Don't you like it? ^__^ It's a little gift they left at the counter.  
  
Ren: I'm sure /this/ isn't what they had in mind when they planned on giving free paper umbrellas. *makes a face* I feel like a geek who's thinking, 'Oh, it's gonna rain any moment now in the airport', which I don't believe ever happens.  
  
[Suddenly, the loudspeaker booms]  
  
Loudspeaker: Calling for flight 1706...flight 1706...to Hawaii.  
  
Yoh: That's our flight! *takes off towards the gate*  
  
Everyone else: *watches him go and sweatdrops*  
  
Yoh: *stops and looks over his shoulder* Why are you guys just standing there?! Come on! We're gonna miss the flight!  
  
Bokutou No Ryu: Huh? Oh! *runs towards Yoh, who resumes his running* Well, how am /I/ supposed to know? I've never been on a plane before.  
  
Horohoro: C'mon, Ren. *pulls the grunting Ren along with him*  
  
Anna: ...... *flips her hair and continues to walk without rushing*  
  
Hao: Anna, now's /not/ the time to put on a fashion show! Do you want me to puppet you all the way there or something?  
  
Anna: *glares at him* Try.  
  
---------- *An ear-splitting scream that echooes through the airport* [People turn to see a guy with long gorgeous brown hair carrying a girl with blond hair and darting toward a certain gate. The girl was screaming her head off]  
  
People: ???? O.o;;;  
  
Anna: Put me down, you freak!!!!!! Or I'll call the police!!!!!!  
  
Hao: *sighs* Won't you shut /up/?! *takes Anna's red scarf and ties it around her mouth*  
  
Anna: Mmphhh!!  
  
Hao: There, that's more like it. *grins in satisfaction*  
  
[They board the plane]  
  
Stewardess: Welcome aboard. *smiles*  
  
Bokutou No Ryu: *heart heart* And welcome to my world of sexyness and- *receives a blow from Horohoro] Yeowch! *glares at him* I'll- I'll...pulverize you, you little-  
  
Horohoro: Ren!! Ryu's planning on pulverizing me!  
  
Ren: *death-glares at Bokutou No Ryu* You touch him and the next thing you know, you'll find your front teeth missing.  
  
Bokutou No Ryu: ... Talk about injustice. T.T  
  
Horohoro: Ren-chan!  
  
Ren: What?  
  
Horohoro: *checks his ticket* Oh, your seat's next to mine! We'll be having lots of fun when the lights go out then, won't we, Ren-chan? ^___^  
  
Ren: *sweatdrops* Uh, yea....  
  
[Hao comes up with Anna.../and/ the scarf still around her mouth]  
  
Stewardess: Welcome a...board. *blinks in bewilderment at them*  
  
Hao: Yeah, thanks. See ya, Miss. *rushes into the plane*  
  
Stewardess: *stares after the two* ......  
  
[According to their tickets, Yoh is to sit beside Manta and Anna, Ren with Horohoro, Chocolove with Tamao...]  
  
Bokutou No Ryu: Hmm...two seats, huh? *grins and takes his seat* Maybe the one sitting beside me will be a gorgeous, sexy, mind-blowing lady-- *stops when his eyes falls on a huge man with a sullen expression coming up and settling heavily beside him, his grin instantly fading* ...Or not...  
  
[The act caused the seats to shake slightly and Bokutou No Ryu grips his arm rests tightly in fear that the seats might collapse under the man's weight]  
  
Bokutou No Ryu: ...Help... *squeaks*  
  
Man: *turns to look at him, the sullen look still on his face* .....  
  
Bokutou No Ryu: ^v^;; Eh-heh...hi.  
  
Man: .......  
  
Bokutou No Ryu: *sweatdrops*  
  
[Lyserg walks past the rows of seats, searching for his own]  
  
Lyserg: *mutters* Number 34... Ah, here it is! 34 and 35. Two seats...I wonder who's sitting beside me. Oh well, at least I get to sit by the window. *smiles happily to himself and takes his seat*  
  
[Hao comes to view and he spots Yoh laughing along with Manta; both of them already seated]  
  
Hao: Here, Yoh! *dumps Anna into Yoh's lap* You take care of her. Besides, she's /your/ fiance.  
  
Yoh & Manta: *blinks*  
  
Anna: Mmmpphhhh!! *glares at Hao*  
  
[Hao proceeds to search for his seat]  
  
Hao: Number, uh, 35. 35...35...35... *scans the numbers on the seats as he passes them* Number 35! Found it! *looks down and his eyes immediately widened in suprise as he saw Lyserg sitting by the window beside his seat. At the same time, Lyserg's jaw dropped when he realised it was his enemy who was seated beside him]  
  
Hao & Lyserg: YOU?!?!  
  
[A stewardess appears]  
  
Stewardess: Now, now, boys. What's this commotion about? This isn't a funfair for you to scream as you like.  
  
Lyserg: *flushes* I-I'm sorry, ma'am.  
  
Hao: *mutters something about 'stupid fate' and sits down beside Lyserg*  
  
Lyserg: *shifts closer to the window and rests his chin on his palm, a look of incredulity on his features*  
  
Hao: *turns to him* What? I don't have any diseases on me, mind you.  
  
Lyserg: *hesitates* Why'd /I/ have to end up sitting with /you/ of all people?  
  
Hao: You're askin' /me/?  
  
Lyserg: *glances at Hao out of the corner of his eyes* I dislike you.  
  
Hao: You think /I/ don't dislike /you/?!  
  
Lyserg: *turns to face him* You're just a pain in the ass, you know that?  
  
Hao: You're a /much/ bigger pain in the ass! In fact, you made my reputation drop in the mangas!  
  
Lyserg: Me?! Oh, please! Spare me that. That's one of the excuses little kids who whine make.  
  
Hao: *flares* Who the heck do you think-  
  
A man sitting in front of them: WILL YOU TWO HIPPIES SHUT UP FOR THE LOVE OF PEACE?!  
  
Hao & Lyserg: ........  
  
Pilot: *clears throat* Welcome aboard ***** Airlines and...enjoy your flight! Thank you!  
  
Horohoro: *blinks* The captain sounds as if he's in a rush or somethin', don't you think, Ren-chan?  
  
Ren: Hmph.  
  
[The lights go out and the plane takes off]  
  
  
  
*********************************************************************  
  
~End of Scene Two~ 


	3. Scene 3: In the plane...

A/N: I'm really sorry this took such a long time. And big thanks to all who reviewed. ^_^ I appreciate it very much.  
  
*********************************************************************  
  
Shamans On Holiday  
  
  
  
/.../ represents emphasis  
  
  
  
Scene Three:  
  
  
  
[It is pitch-dark in the plane, the lights have gone out...]  
  
Bokutou No Ryu: ...Um... *glances around* Who turned off the damn lights? Or are talking about a blackout here...? Oh, please let it /not/ be the latter... *prays silently*  
  
Man beside him: *nods his head in time to the music in the headphones*  
  
Yoh: *ungags Anna* You okay?  
  
Anna: *spats at the ground* Ugh. That Hao's gonna get it! Wait 'till I get my hands on him! *shakily gets up from Yoh's lap and walks toward the back of the plane, intending to find Hao*  
  
Yoh: O-Oi, Anna! Come back! You're not suppose to-  
  
[Due to the darkness (and someone's leg spread out comfortably), Anna tripped...]  
  
Anna: Eeeargh!! *falls flat on her face*  
  
Yoh: ...walk... *stares helplessly*  
  
A passenger: Oh, havens! What happened?? *looks over at Anna*  
  
Another passenger: *shakes head* Some peeps do the weirdest things...  
  
Manta: .....  
  
[Chocolove and Tamao are sitting quietly in their seats...]  
  
Chocolove: .....  
  
Tamao: .....  
  
Chocolove: ...It's kinda dark, don'tcha think?  
  
Tamao: Yea...  
  
Chocolove: ..... Are you feeling kinda warm?  
  
Tamao: Yea...  
  
Chocolove: *nods his head, still not facing her* Me too...  
  
[Silence in the air]  
  
Chocolove: ..... *turns to her* Do you hate me?  
  
Tamao: Yea... *realizes what she'd just said and panics* Oh! I mean, /no/! No, of course not! *bites lip in shame*  
  
Chocolove: *nods slowly* Oh...okay... *turns back to face the seat in front of him*  
  
[Hao is scowling at the seat which the man, who had previously shouted at him, was occupying. Lyserg, on the other hand, is staring blankly at the closed window, unwilling to face Hao's direction]  
  
Hao: ..... Oi, Lyserg.  
  
Lyserg: What?  
  
Hao: *turns to him* What in the goddamn world do you think you're doing, staring at a shut window? Do you see fairies and fountains there?  
  
Lyserg: *sighs in irritation at the window* Yeah, in bikinis too.  
  
Hao: *eyes light up* Where?? The fairies or the fountains(in bikinis)? *scrambles onto Lyserg, trying to get a better view of the window*  
  
Lyserg: Oi!! Get your ass off me!! *shoves at Hao in repulsion*  
  
Hao: *frowns at the window* I don't see anything. Are you hallucinating or somethin'?  
  
Lyserg: Yeah, yeah. Returntoyourseatnow!  
  
Hao: *settles back on his own seat* Really, Lyserg, you shouldn't be fooling around with babes in bikinis. You /know/ how I feel about them.  
  
Lyserg: *snorts* Like screwing the cow isn't enough--  
  
Hao: O_O I DID NOT SCREW ANY STUPID COW!! Yeesh! I /knew/ it was a bad idea to go live with my farmer nephew for a week! Now the rumours have spread! Seriously, I do /not/ screw cows!  
  
The man sitting in front of them: *turns around in a rage* So why don'tcha go screw yourself for a change?!! And be sure to staple that hell-of-a- mouth of yours!!!  
  
Hao: *flinches in shock*  
  
Lyserg: That's what you get for screaming in an airplane.  
  
Hao: *growls under his breath* I'm bored. And since you're the only one available at the moment-  
  
Lyserg: *turns slightly red* That came out sounding /really/ bad, Hao.  
  
Hao: *blinks* It wasn't a pick-up line. o.o  
  
Lyserg: I know! Just find something to do. Kill yourself for an experiment or something. I'd be happier that way.  
  
Hao: *rolls eyes* You don't have to make things worse for me. It's already unbearable as it is.  
  
Lyserg: I never intend to. You do that perfectly fine on your own.  
  
Hao: Why you-  
  
Lyserg: Hush. You started this.  
  
Hao: *grumbles* Now I /really/ regret not bringing some aspirin... +_+  
  
[The lights flicker on again, much to everyone's delight]  
  
Loudspeaker: Drinks and light snacks will be served in a moment.  
  
Horohoro: Great! ^_^ Can't wait for that. I'm famished.  
  
Ren: +_+; You've just eaten a whole bag of chips at home...  
  
Horohoro: Well, that was hours ago! I'm hungry again.  
  
Ren: You're /always/ hungry.  
  
Horohoro: ^^ You must love me a lot to notice that. I thought you'd never notice.  
  
Ren: *mutters* Anyone would.  
  
[After a while...]  
  
Ren: *eyes the food piled up in front of Horohoro* T_T;  
  
Horohoro: ^V^ *gobbles up the potato stew, meat pies and etc, etc, etc...including some tiny marble-like things they've never seen, which the stewardess called 'sweets'*  
  
Ren: ...You...uh...have a real big appetite...  
  
Horohoro: Why, yes, of course I do! ^__^ You don't know how pleased I am that you pointed /that/ out! Thought you never noticed.  
  
Ren: *smacks his own forehead* Will you quit that? It's gettin' pretty annoying.  
  
Horohoro: *stops eating* What? *smile fading* Surely not....  
  
Ren: Er...no, I- *pauses when Horohoro gave him a my-heart-is-sinking-to- the-pit-of-my-stomach look* S-Sorry...I-  
  
Horohoro: Why, Ren...?  
  
Ren: *stammers* N-No, Horo. You got the wrong-  
  
Horohoro: Why...aren't you eating? *points to Ren's beefsteak in concern*  
  
Ren: . . . . . *sweatdrops*  
  
[Yoh and Manta are fanning Anna, who is currently very red from embarrassment and anger; probably more of the latter...]  
  
Yoh: *fans Anna with a napkin* Feeling better, Anna?  
  
Anna: *growls*  
  
Manta: *fans her with a 'Safety Rules While In A Plane' card* Hopefully so, right, Miss Anna?  
  
Anna: *growls some more*  
  
[Meanwhile...]  
  
Bokutou No Ryu: Oh, thank heavens the lights are finally on! I guess it wasn't a blackout after all.  
  
Lights: *sizzle sizzle POOF!*  
  
[The lights go out]  
  
Loudspeaker: It seems there is a slight problem with the electricity. We assure you we will do the best we can to fix it. We apologize about the inconvience. Thank you.  
  
Bokutou No Ryu: . . . . . I shouldn't have said that too soon.  
  
The man beside him: *nods his head in time to the music*  
  
[Hao is eating his sandwich when all of a sudden...]  
  
Hao: What the hell...? I can't see a thing. Lyserg, where are you?  
  
Lyserg: I'm right here, idiot.  
  
Hao: Right where?  
  
Lyserg: Beside you! I think it's a blackout.  
  
Hao: A blackout? In a plane? Does that happen often?  
  
Lyserg: Not that I know.  
  
Hao: Great. This is just great. The perfect vacation.  
  
Lyserg: ...Will you just calm down and be quiet?  
  
Hao: It doesn't make much difference if I be calm or not. Look; some passengers have already lost their self-control.  
  
[In the background, screams were audible]  
  
Loudspeaker: Dear passengers, please be calm. The electricity will be back working in a moment.  
  
*********************************************************************  
  
~End of Scene Three~ 


End file.
